Live the Questions

Sun, 30 Aug 2026 00:00:00 +0000

A few years ago, I attended a talk by an ultramarathoner. In the talk, he described his experience finishing a 400km race through the Gobi desert. The race lasted for 7 days and 6 nights, with temperatures varying from -20 degrees to 30 degrees Celsius. He detailed the preparations necessary - for example, cutting his toothbrush in half to lighten his load - because the entire race has to be completely self-supported. He detailed the pains of muscle spasms on the 5th day and confusion of running in pitch black darkness at night. At the end of the presentation, we were amazed by what the human mind and body can do. When it came time to ask questions, I raised my hand and asked, “But, why?”

My question drew sounds of knowing laughter in the crowd and also from the presenter himself. “Yeah, why?” he replied, “I asked myself this question every morning when I step out the door for my training.”

As the oldest of three children, I got to observe my youngest brother grow up. Being 4 and 6 years older, Jo and I would make him do all kinds of silly things - jump off the bed frame, put on dresses, bring us water (mostly Jo), clean up after us (completely Jo). Ben seemed to be happy doing anything we told him to do. He didn’t have anything he liked, he just liked being with us. Then, one day, I observed that he liked an artist that neither Jo or I listened to. And I realized that Ben is his own person now. He has grown into a person.

A week ago, a friend and I were talking about the book Klara and the Sun - a story of a robot companion and the people she served. My friend shared that she loved the book because it presents the question of what it means to be human. The robot companion, Klara, had all humanlike qualities. She was empathic towards the girl she cared for, she had goals of protecting the people she served. But all these qualities were built into her - it was part of her operating system. What made her human, or different from other robots, was actually her desires or motivation - ones that weren’t explicitly programmed in her. Like a child who enjoys painting while growing up in a household absent of any interest in art. The child’s motivation arose internally. Thus, it is Klara’s motivations which arose independently of her initial programming that makes her human.

Often, we question why we do certain things, why we like certain things, why we like certain people. Or, at least I do. But, often, the answers to the why’s are hidden from my thinking. I get frustrated, and remember a quote from Rilke, “Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

So, why run 7 days and 6 nights through the Gobi desert? Because it’s what makes us human.

Personal | J.Loke

Live the Questions